Reflections on the murder of Hieromartyr Daniil Sysoyev

The website 'Orthodoxy and the World' has a reflection on the death of Fr Danill Sysoyev. In a few paragraphs the reflection notes the difference between zealotry and inspired faith. It is so worthy of our own reflection that I am reproducing it here complete. For the reflection from its original (English) source, click here.

If one believes the official reports, the murderer of Father Daniel called out, “Who here is Sysoyev?” In these words lies a challenge not only to Father Daniel, but also to everyone who has decided to devote their life to Orthodox witnessing. It seemed to us that the time of martyrdom and costly witness had long passed, but now we are proven wrong. Today, as always, confessing Christ attracts all the spite and hatred of this world.

Evil has a simple logic – if the man is gone, the problem is gone. Polemics is for those who have remained human, but when a person resorts to violence, he becomes dehumanized and unable to be what God called him to be.

It so happened that Father Daniel and I would sometimes disagree and argue. Despite these polemics, one thing was important to me - that we believed in the same God and were children of the same Church. Those disagreements were but trifles, which unfortunately are inevitable in everyday life: we were entirely at one when it came to the principles of our faith.

Death is a watershed that separates the important from the unimportant. Death gives the true measurement of a person, making it possible to put misunderstandings aside and see the person the way he or she is. So now Father Daniel is standing before us in all the simplicity of his smile, and how sad it is that we cannot accept a person as they are while they are still alive.

It is beyond doubt that Father Daniel lived in and for Christ. He and only He was the centre and meaning of his life. His daily confession of the faith and his sincere wish to bring people to the Truth was perceived by many as something foolish, not serious, something inappropriate for reputable people.

We talk a lot about the revival of Orthodoxy and, I hope, we work for it to a certain extent. But are there many among us who have no other interests, or rather, meanings in life but Christ and His Church? We can talk about it, but what do our lives say? Our everyday activities? What is the cornerstone of it all?

Almost all who comment on the terrible tragedy agree that Father Daniel was not indifferent - he was sincere and zealous. The Church Tradition has preserved the words of Christ, “As I find you, so shall I judge you.” Father Daniel became a martyr while performing his priestly service. He was trapped, but not taken unawares; he met his death vested in his priest’s stole and cuffs. We constantly pray at every service that the end of our earthly existence be painless, blameless and peaceful. However, we cannot know what, in fact, it will be; we can only pray and try to live a Christian life. That is how Father Daniel lived, just doing his work and relying on God in everything.

Evil thinks in the categories of earthly history, but we were created for eternity. What we will be in eternity depends on what we become on earth. Father Daniel was a priest of Christ and His Church. All his life was filled with this service, and his death is the confirmation of this. “Death is worth living for, and love is worth waiting for ….”

Please read also about Fr.Daniel:

Fr. Daniel's Autobiography and the Interview with Him on the Occasion of the Opening of the Missionary Centre

On the Murder of Father Daniil Sysoev

Father Daniil Has Gone from us to God as a Confessor

A postscript. We are all called to the Great Commission: The Lord said: "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to Me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, to the close of the age." (Mat 28.18-20) While the direct commission was given to the Apostles, and through them the Bishops and priests, every Christian has a role to play in "making disciples", beginning with themselves, and through their own witness bring others to Christ.

In the technologically rich and "civilized" twenty-first century, it is too easy to assume that we can simply sit at our computers blogging (like this present activity) and catechumens will wander across our paths like the Ethiopian eunuch to receive the Gospel at our hands. It is too often the case that our witness fall short through lack of prayer, lack of fasting, and lack of Grace-filled Love. There are thousands upon thousands of catechumens 'out there' - the great majority of them not even knowing that they are listening to hear the words of Faith and thus going about their lives like the eunuch, reading and not understanding.

We need to pray for catechumens daily, those we know and those who do not yet know the Church. We need to fast for our own sins and the sins of the world. We need to beg our Lord for the Gift of life-transforming Faith and the Grace of Divine Light. Only then, whether clergy or laity, will our efforts bear the fruits substantiating our claim to be Christian. And we must be prepared to accept that sometimes these godly efforts may require our blood to prove the Truth of our witness.

On Chalices, Illnesses, and the H1N1 Flu

The following is posted thanks to Father Miguel Grave de Peralta, pastor of St Ignatios of Antioch Melkite Greek Catholic Church in Augusta, GA, who was passing along the information from the St George Antiochian Orthodox Cathedral in Witchita, KS. The topic is considerations regarding receiving "from the Chalice" in regard to the potential spread of disease.

I recall some years ago, an newspaper story about disease featuring a photograph of an Eastern Christian priest administering Holy Communion via the spoon. The article gave the impression this was a less than sanitary way to distribute the Holy Body and Blood of our Lord. While I don't remember my exact comments in reply, I do remember being one of several Eastern clergy (and at least one Roman priest, if I recall correctly) who took the author(s) to task on the slant in the article. As one might expect from a website of the Cathedral of Bishop Basil Essey (on of the finest Eastern Christian Bishops in the Americas - of any Eastern Christian Church), the below piece is thorough, accurate and precise.

Can I Get Sick from Receiving Communion?

With all the talk about “Swine Flu” (H1N1) and other communicable diseases, the question arises: “Can I get sick from the Chalice?” There is a one word answer to this, but more on that later. First, a few words about those who should not receive Holy Communion …

+ If you are Orthodox and not taking your spiritual life seriously;

+ If you are not living a life of faith and repentance;

+ If you have not been faithful in prayer in and worship;

+ If you refuse to forgive someone;

+ If you have not fasted;

+ If you have not made an honest effort to prepare yourself to receive the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus Christ;

If any of the above is the case:

You should not approach the chalice without first making a sincere confession. In reference to Holy Communion, St Paul writes: “For he who eats and drinks unworthily, eats and drinks condemnation to himself” (1 Corinthians 11:29).

Living a life of repentance means that you are making an honest effort to refrain from sin: fighting against temptations and the lusts of the flesh, abstaining from all sexual relations outside the Sacrament of Marriage, refraining from the poison of lies, gossip, cursing, and slander, avoiding excessive drinking, drug use, and other bad habits. It also requires that one be striving to better oneself spiritually, attending services regularly, confessing one’s sins, and making peace with one’s enemies.

To sum up: Receiving communion means we are living our life in Jesus Christ.*

According to Saint Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians (11:30), many of the people who received Communion in an unworthy manner would become weak, sick, or even would die. In the St John’s Gospel, we hear our Lord say to the Paralytic: “See, you are well! Sin no more, that nothing worse befall you” (John 5:14). We see a strong agreement between Jesus and St. Paul on how sin and illness are correlated. It is not the Body and Blood of Christ which is a vehicle for illness, but our own human tendencies to fall into sin. The H1N1 virus and many other incurable viral diseases (HIV, the flu, herpes, cold sores, etc) are in existence because of the fall of humanity and our insistence to remain fallen in sin.

Can I get sick from the Chalice?

The answer is, simply, no.

We should not worry about transmission of germs through common use of sacred vessels that have held and touched “the divine, holy, pure, immortal, heavenly, life giving, and awesome Mysteries of Christ, let us worthily give thanks to the Lord” (Liturgy of St. John Chrysostom). Further, Saint John in his Gospel quotes Jesus saying “Whoever eats My flesh and drinks My blood has eternal LIFE…” (John 5:54). Why would something that is LIFE-giving be the carrier of something that causes disease and death? **

Besides, after everyone else receives Holy Communion, the priests and deacons consume the remainder of the chalice. The clergy, therefore, would be the recipients of a host of germs – from everyone! Yet, in truth, that which is in the consecrated chalice is the very Body and Blood of the Physician of our souls. He has trampled down death by death, and upon us, His faithful children, He has bestowed Life!

We can, however, get sick from contact with each other!

Take precautions:

+ Cover your nose and mouth with a tissue when you cough or sneeze. Throw the tissue in the trash after you use it.

+ Wash your hands often with soap and water, especially after you cough or sneeze. Alcohol-based hand cleaners are also effective.

+ Avoid touching your eyes, nose or mouth. Germs spread this way.

+ Try to avoid close contact with sick people.

+ If you are sick with flu-like illness, the Center for Disease Control (CDC) recommends that you stay home for at least 24 hours after your fever is gone except to get medical care or for other necessities. (Your fever should be gone without the use of a fever-reducing medicine.) Keep away from others as much as possible. This is to keep from making others sick.

+ While sick, limit contact with others to keep from infecting them.

+ Visit the CDC website to find out what to do if you get sick with the flu and how to care for someone at home who is sick with the flu.

-----------------------

* - Taken from the May ‘09 issue of The Cathedral Messenger, St George Orthodox Christian Cathedral, Wichita, Kansas.

** - Taken from: The Quiet Revolution

See also: This Side of Glory

Image of the Communion of the Apostles is taken from the website of the Russian Orthodox Cathedral of St John the Baptist, Washington, DC.

This article is taken from the quarterly newsletter, The Messenger, of St George Church.

And, of course, your rambling host copped it from Fr Miguel - a priest who's heart always leads him to find uplifting and important information from around the web!

And so, again, thanks to Fr Miguel; St George, Houston; Sayidna BASIL and all the Wichita Cathedral.

Out of the Mouth of Babes and the Wisdom of the Elders

This morning I highly recommend the Ochlophobist's posting: girls, uninterrupted . Also, a blog I wandered across called Archangel's Wanderings. At the latter site, the particular entry entitled Can We Make a Difference? This moving existential contemplation is thoughtful on its own, but I particularly want to point your attention the the sole comment. When I read the posting, I wanted to add a note, but when I read the comment I realized what needed to be said (and recalled by us all) had already been said with more eloquence than this rambler would have contributed.

Go. Read them. Now. Smile and hug someone.

Words of Wisdom from the Church Fathers

On Living Simply
XLIV
St. John Chrysostom

"How should the Church be governed? Should the patriarchs act like emperors, issuing decrees which all believers must obey? Should bishops see themselves as local governors, demanding unquestioning submission of the people? Should the clergy be a kind of spiritual army, enforcing the will of the patriarchs and the bishops, and meting out punishment on sinners? The first consideration for the Church is not how to punish sins, but how to prevent sins from being committed... Moreover, each individual is answerable not to a priest, bishop or patriarch, but to God. So the primary authority of those within the Church is not to issue decrees, but to stir up the souls and enliven the consciences of believers... In short those in authority within the Church should see themselves not as rulers, but but as preachers and pastors."

I discovered the above quote on another website and found it such a beautiful and inspirational statement that I had to cop it for inclusion here. I account myself most blessed to serve in a Church whose superiors are exemplary of the kind of clergy the good Patriarch John endorses. For those of you who read or follow this rambling blog, please pray for me that I may grow in humility, obedience, and tenderness as a pastor and preacher. May I ever grow more deeply in love with the Gospel that is life and light for all who will accept it.

Note to self: Find a copy of Patriarch John's book and study it. Then pray it and study it again!

St John of Kronstadt on discrimination (the good kind)

Never confuse the person, formed in the image of God, with the evil that is in him, because evil is but a chance misfortune, illness, a devilish reverie. But the very essence of the person is the image of God, and this remains in him despite every disfigurement.

– St. John of Kronstadt

From the web blog into the light: Finding Christ in Eastern Orthodoxy

LESS ME AND MORE WE THE TRUE WAY FOR SELF-HELP

An obvious, although often overlooked, aspect of our calling to live out God’s Will is that we must do so in a community. The large selection of “self-help” books available in book shops and libraries offer great assurances of help and cures for the various problems confronting the despondent reader. Yet the reason these all fail – and they always fail – is that their focus is on helping “me” – the individual, on my differences, my uniqueness, my particularity. It is truly a ‘self-ish’ endeavor.

One of the major errors of the modern world, and western Society in particular, is this emphasis on “self”, the individual. Help for the sufferer is thought to be found in isolation from others, from family and friends, from society and humanity itself. I would argue that this tendency is as old as humanity itself. This is humanity in its fallen state seeking solutions to our problems in isolation from interaction with others

However, our own experience and our Lord’s testimony teaches us that we have an inherent need for others. Recall the observation, “How can you remove the mote in your brother’s eye when there is a plank in your own.” This points to the reality that our humanity can only be revealed, the fullness of our personhood can only be discovered and flourish, in community. The extent to which we insist on differentiating ourselves from our shared humanity is the degree to which our lives are diminished and our very personhood impoverished.

The Holy Trinity Himself provides the greatest example of this truth. The Essence of God, that basic Nature that uniquely characterizes Him, is Love. The hypostases (concrete realities that instantiate, or give what we would loosely call “reality” to that Essence) are the Three Divine Persons – Father. Son and Holy Spirit .These three Persons equally possess that Divine Essence by which we affirm that each of the Divine Persons is fully God. At the same time, this hypostatic reality fully embodies (as it were) the Essence of each Divine Person.

Our Faith teaches us that we are created in the Image and Likeness of God. As there is a common Divinity shared by each Person of the Holy Trinity, so also each man or woman shares in a common humanity. While the Divine Essence is at once all love, all knowing, all powerful and eternal, the human essence is limited, capable of love but also subject to experience the absence of love (originating either in ‘me’ or experienced by ‘me’ due to another). Similarly, the immortality of human existence is purely dependent on our willful acceptance of the gift of love and life from God.

Therefore, true “self-help’ comes not through focus on ‘me’ but on God, through Whom we find true peace and harmony with all others. In this encounter with God we find healing in Him. And what’s more, this healing necessarily takes place in the context of a the community, the Church. Here alone we discover the realities of our dignity, our poverty, our need and our sin.

In experiencing these truths selfishness gives way to a selflessness that if filled with the grandeur His Life. The limitations of our broken existence finds healing through sharing our humanity with others in the shared reality of Christ’s self sacrifice for us. Our life becomes one with the Trinity and thus one with everyone of His children. No matter what our earthly circumstances, we are freed and no longer need live as victims. Forgiveness of those who hurt us is easily achieved in the superseding action of Divine Love that allows to see beyond the petty myopia of this broken world to the heavenly perspective where we are all God’s children and worthy of love, forgiveness and life.

In conclusion, let the words of the Prayer Book and Divine Serves bring healing. Spend time before your Icon corner and be open to experience the true Victory that comes from complete submission to the Holy Trinity. Discover the fullness of your personhood in the God who gives us His Divine Body and Precious Blood.

Thanks be to God.

Another Life Update

Dear Readers:

A follow-up on my 25 January entry about personal life issues my family currently face: As you know, Presbytera was diagnosed with a grade-four glioma in November of last year. This discovery came after a CAT scan revealed the tumor and emergency surgery was performed to remove as much of it as possible. By mid-December, she was on a regime of chemotherapy (Temodar) (seven days a week) and radiation therapy (five days a week).

By 11 February, all chemo and radiation therapy were completed. The plan was for a one-month ‘cool down’ period which would include a weaning off of the steroid used to reduce swelling. On 11 March, she would have an MRI and the next step of treatment would then be arranged. At minimum, this was to be chemotherapy five out of every twenty-eight days for the next six months. There was also a possibility to participate in a study which would entail twenty-five days of treatment out of every twenty-eight for the six month period.

Unfortunately, things have progressed with some difficulty. By the weekend of 15 February, Presbytera’s condition had begun to deteriorate. Headaches and forgetfulness returned, and Saturday of that weekend was particularly troublesome and emotional for her. By Sunday morning, she seemed somewhat disconnected and confused. Shortly after arriving at Church she said she wanted to go sleep in the car; it was suggested that she relax on the pew. A few minutes later she wanted to go home and sleep.

Our daughter drove her home and later reported that it took about twenty minutes for her to get out of the car (she didn't seem to know what was being asked of her and how to do it). Of course, by the time I got home we were all quite concerned. The concern was increased by the discovery that after returning home Presbytera had taken her morning medicines again, having already taking them before leaving for Church. A call to the neurologist advised taking her to the emergency room.

At the emergency room a CAT scan was taken. She was told to return to full strength steroid use and an appointment was arranged with our oncologist. (The steroid increase has greatly helped her return to normal.)

When we met with the oncologist Wednesday, he revealed that the CAT scan seemed to indicate renewed growth in the original tumor and possibly three additional new tumors. Given the lack of precise detail of a CAT scan, he urged that she have an MRI done immediately. He would review the MRI and contact us either later that evening or the next day.

The oncologist contacted us Thursday. The MRI clearly showed two areas of growth and two areas that could be growth, or dead tissue swollen due to the radiation. Either way, the revelation was troubling. At a meeting Friday, a new plan of action was decided. Either tomorrow or Wednesday, Presbytera will begin the five out of twenty-eight day chemotherapy regime. As planned, in March a new MRI will be compared with last week’s image. Several options can be then considered.

These are trying times for our family. The general uncertainty in the world economy, the continuing moral and spiritual collapse of the society in which we live, and now Presbytera’s health problems all combine to cause worry and fear.

Nonetheless, I have found in our Lord’s Grace a strength I never experienced before. It strikes me sometimes these days that I only now have a glimmer of understanding of what the priesthood truly is. At the same time, faith has become a more potent reality. Somehow the fact that this new development in Presbytera’s health has come more or less with the beginning of the Great Fast is comforting. I know we are in His hands and He is walking this path with us even as He encourages us to walk His path with Him.

And our parishioners have been wonderful! They have offered help, cooked meals and checked in on us regularly. Thanks be to the Holy Trinity for the great gift of Salvation and the friends he grants us along the way.

I will update again on Presbytera's health when anything significant occurs, probably not before mid-March. In the meantime, I thank you each and all for your prayers. We treasure those prayers more than you could know, and I offer thanks for them at every Divine Liturgy I celebrate. God bless you all!

Oh, my hip replacement surgery has been pushed forward to 2 March.

C’est la vie!

Thanks be to God.

An Update on Life

Dear Readers:

My apologies to you for the long period of low-blogging; things here have been rather complicated.

On 20 November, the good Presbytera was discovered to have a dangerous tumor impacting her brain. She had been suffering from headaches, forgetfulness, confusion and periods of dizziness for some time, the symptoms getting more pronounced for weeks. When the neurologists looked at the MRI they told us they were frankly amazed that she had walked into the emergency room under her own power. This was in the evening after the initial CAT scan revealed the tumor and several hours of the doctors consulting each other as to where she should go for the surgery.

Suffice it to say that the next couple of days were chaotic. Our Liturgy for the Entrance of the Theotokos in the Temple had to be cancelled; I spent the day in the hospital with her praying as the medical team awaited the optimum time for the surgery; and our parish family joined in prayers for her safety. We dedicated her recovery to the Holy Theotokos under the title Our Lady the Protectress of All Christians.

Our prayers were met with God’s favor. Presbytera came through the surgery very well, again to the amazement of the medical staff. By 25 November, she was discharged and back home.

Of course, the surgery was not the end of the trouble. Presbytera has a grade four glioma. These are very dangerous, quick growing, and tenacious. By mid-December we were introduced to the routine of chemotherapy and radiation therapy. She was given a mild regime of antibiotics as a prophylaxis against infections, and began the watch for the obligatory falling out of the hair and onset of exhaustion caused by the treatment.

We currently are near the end of the round for both chemo and radiation, and the cumulative effect on Presbytera has been telling but not defeating. There are days wherein sleeping is her major activity around taking her meds and visiting the hospital for radiation. Then there are days where sleep seems far removed and out of reach. Other physiological effects also are borne with patient but difficult endurance.

God willing, after the round of treatment is over, and the cooling off period that these necessitate, the next MRI will show no further growth. As this type of glioma is rare, Presbytera will be eligible to participate in a drug study that seeks to determine the best combination of already-known-to-be-effective chemotherapy medicines. Whether she participates – initially she was ready to sign on – will depend on how she feels by the time she is eligible.

This time of our lives has been profound on many levels. People have been wonderful in their prayers and support for us. From our local parishioners to people around the Eparchy to my co-workers in the Chancery, the inner heart of each has been revealed in their care, sincerity and desire to help us. For your rambling host, this has been a time to re-evaluate priorities, look beyond the obvious, and allow God’s compassionate Spirit to comfort and reassure through difficulties that I now perceive can only be understood from the “inside”.

As I noted in a previous entry, the Psalter – always central to the life of the priestly vocation – has become more and more important to me; and the writing of St Ephraim the Syrian (A Spiritual Psalter) has provided a spiritual balance I have desperately needed. Of course, the Divine Services have been a supreme source of comfort and inspiration.

In many ways, I have come to consider that only now have I begun to truly understand what the priesthood is all about. The Apostle’s image of the earthen vessel has more truth than people know. Only when we are emptied of our own illusions of power, authority, importance, and intellectual prowess can we make fitting accommodation for the Holy Spirit. In the Divine Liturgy, the priest’s work is accomplished in humble silence as the ancient prayers and words of the Golden-tongued are enlivened through Grace. These prayers, like so much of our Byzantine Tradition, nourish, heal, and fill with hope as we surrender all to the Holy Trinity. Our Lord warms us in the fire of His Divine Love, and the Theotokos craddles us in the protection of her intercessions.

Presbytera has good days and bad days. We do not know what the future holds for her and us. Yet somehow I have a confidence that defies the limitations of statistics and expectations. We are not going through this alone. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible.

Please keep Presbytera in your prayers; and her mother, our daughter, and your rambling host. While blog updates may be erratic for some time (like that never happened here before, eh?), I will do my best to continue my rambling commentary and reflection on life in this age of cultural decline. We have no need of fear, He has conquered death already; and so, to live is Christ and to die is gain.

Oh, and after Pascha I will have to undergo hip replacement surgery.

C'est la vie!

Thanks be to God.

A Metropolitan gives advice to the young - and food for thought for all at the turning of the year

I found this meditation by a Ukrainian Metropolitan online. Regardless of our state in life (or age) this reflection should provide moments of penitent reflection for all. Especially as many consider "resolutions" for the new year, would we not all benefit from repentance over our sins and a true commitment to living the Christian life of love, charity, and virtue in the upcoming year?

Metropolitan Anthony (Krapovitsky) of Kiev

Ask the person confessing whether his conscience does not accuse him either of some crude outrage or insult against his parents or else of constantly offending them in small ways. Let him not think that this is an everyday triviality in family life. The Lord said to Moses, "He that curses his father or mother shall surely be put to death" (Ex. 21:16). This death sentence for one who reviles his parents is confirmed by the Saviour as being a commandment of God (Mt. 15:4; Mk. 7:10), although not in the sense of a criminal law concerning the death penalty, but in the sense that it is a mortal sin. This then is what the priest should say to an adolescent who is guilty of this: "When you grow older and, perhaps, bury your parents, then, believe me, on remembering such occasions, even while by yourself, you will blush from shame right up to your ears and wring your hands, wishing in vain to make amends for the sin which now seems so insignificant to you. For, although you cannot understand it now, when an insolent son or daughter grieves his loving parents with malicious words or rude disobedience, it is like thrusting a sharp knife into their breasts. You will understand this when you have your own children, but then in all probability it will be too late to wipe out your guilt before your deceased parents." The same thing, or nearly so, is experienced by teachers when their pupils are insolent to them; as a result of this, many become embittered and the sacred task of teaching becomes a torment both for the teachers and for the pupils. However, it is much easier for the latter to change this situation for the better, than it is for the former.

Guided by the desire to awaken or strengthen in the penitent a feeling of his guilt before God, put questions to him about which he probably does not think, but which reveal the wounds of his soul to him. To this end it is more profitable not to continue your questions in the accepted order of sins against God, against one's neighbour and then against oneself, but rather to ask them in the order which is most likely to awaken his conscience. You see, our contemporary flock has almost forgotten about its direct relationship to God. What sense is there in asking a person about going to church regularly or attention to prayer if he forgot the way to God's church years ago, and never so much as makes the sign of the cross in the morning or in the evening? "I am not used to praying," such people boldly answer, "but I live honorably and do no harm to anyone; but there are many who pray to God and devour people." If a spiritual father has managed to dislodge a sinner from such a self-satisfied position by using the basic questions we have indicated above, then let him thank God. However, it is still useful to continue asking questions in the same order, according to the degree in which the conscience of contemporary people is sensitive to them" i.e., first ask about sins against one's neighbour, then about sins against the Person of God and finally about sins which derange the inner life of the sinner himself.

And so, if a Christian thinks that he has never offended his neighbour, tell him: "That is good, but we must understand "offense" not only in the sense of what makes a person angry, but even more in the sense of what causes him harm. Thieves are strictly punished by the law and despised by people, but man has pleasures that are far more significant than money or things" his soul and his purity. Have you advised people to do anything evil or depraved? Have you made fun of any one's chastity or modesty, or of their obedience to their elders, their honesty at work or in their studies? When young people lose their innocence, modesty and obedience to their parents and even their honesty, it is always under the influence of bad examples and evil advice, but those who have turned them away from the good path entirely forget about them and about the evil they have done to them. They have sinned terribly before God, far worse than thieves and robbers. But far more criminal are those who, not content with giving treacherous advice when they are asked, also make efforts on their own initiative, sometimes over a considerable period of time, to lure an innocent person into a sin from which he will probably not be able to free himself for a long time, or even for his whole life. How many such tempters there are in any school, who will not be content until they have dragged their comrade into a public house or acquainted him with corrupt people. Nevertheless, who does not know Christ's words: "Whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in Me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." (Mt. 18:6)? So, haven't you committed this sin? Have you purposely sowed the seeds of doubt in your neighbor's heart? Have you made fun of his piety? Have you driven him away from prayer and church? Have you sowed the seeds of discord between brothers, between husband and wife, between co-workers or comrades? All those who do things like this will understand how far from the truth is the prejudice that has long been commonplace in society" that prayer and religion in general are the helpers and servants of the devil. The devil acquires great power over them, since they have surrendered themselves to his will. The same fate awaits those who sin by slandering their neighbour, either in conversation or in print; it also awaits those who condemn their neighbours without being sure that they are guilty of anything.

Perhaps you have no opportunity to tempt or grieve your neighbor or lead him into disaster, and do not even wish to do so, but nevertheless, if you find out that some misfortune has befallen him, you glory over it rather than feel compassion for him. If this is so, see how black your soul is, and what a dangerous path you are on, for the Scriptures say that "Whosoever hateth his brother is a murderer" (1 John 3:15). But you are not guilty of this, glory to God. However, are you not given up to remembrance of wrongs, even if it is not expressed as a desire for revenge? According to the words of our Lord, this makes your prayers quite worthless, and shows that your heart is filled with great self-love and self-justification. You are guilty of the same thing if you have the spirit of disobedience in the family, at school or at work; if you fulfill your obligations only when you can be made to answer for them and find satisfaction in doing something your own way. It was through this disobedience that sin came into the world, and it is precisely from this that criminals begin their sinful exploits" guided always by the spirit of self-justification. This demonic spirit leads them through the following steps: disobedience, laziness, deception, outrages against their parents, seeking sensual enjoyment, theft, rejecting the fear of God, leaving their father's house, robbery and murder and denial of the faith itself. When the person confessing hangs down his head, and you hear the voice of penitence in his speech and also that he is frightened by his sins, then tell him that these evil feelings of disobedience and especially of remembering wrongs and gloating over others misfortunes, grow up in a soul which likes to condemn everyone. This is sinful because a feeling of pleasure at others shortcomings always develops together with the habit of judging people without need. After this comes the desire not to recognize anything good in them, and this is already near to gloating over their misfortunes and even nearer to remembering wrongs. In secular or worldly society all this is considered praiseworthy " people openly make fun of obedience, or even become indignant at the very mention of it, expecting, on the contrary, that every subordinate, every soldier, workman, official and especially every professor should demand freedom upon freedom. This is expected especially of students and even of school boys. This spirit has even moved into the country and the parish, and even into the family, where only a strong paternal hand and the threat of being thrown out or of hunger can uphold that small amount of order that is left, which still protects the home from destruction. The last two years have shown where this foul teaching of self-will has led. Not to mention the fact that people have become villains almost to a man, they are also dying of starvation, going about in ragged clothes, are deprived of the possibility of studying and communicating with each other by letter " in a word, they have returned to the state of savages. How, through what struggle did our Saviour lead people out of their former life and make them righteous and intelligent? Through obedience! Through the obedience of one, many were justified.And even up to our days the highest form of piety, monasticism, consists primarily of obedience.

And so, young Christian, the priest will say, if you wish to be a good, intelligent person and not just a stupid sheep, another member of the flock, then do not agree with the crowd of your contemporaries who are perishing spiritually and physically, do not go by the path of self-will, but by the path of obedience.

Only then will you be a person; then, perhaps, of your many comrades you alone will not be a syphilitic at the end of your studies, will preserve your faith and your heart uncoarsened; truthful in word and honorable in soul, you will not be battered and storm-beaten like a weather vane, as are the majority of our contemporaries. But now you must know that, as you have admitted, you have already sinned much against God, and I am glad to see that you are filled with grief at the picture of your not insignificant sins, which have now been revealed to you and about which you probably did not even think previously.

Stability in a World Out of Control

What follows is a reflection I have submitted to the local newspaper. I have no idea whether they will print it.

It seems the world is out of control. We find ourselves living days of ever mounting anxiety as we read of terrorists, wars, diseases, economic panics, and worries that the earth itself faces ecological disaster. When we look to our society, it seems rudderless. Everywhere there is the sense that institutions, long the bulwarks of order and stability, are failing. The buzzwords of the day are ‘collapse’, ‘decline’, ‘uncertainty’ and ‘fear’. It is not just that we have come to fear the stranger; we seem to have become strangers to ourselves.

Our fears are not groundless. We have gloried in our technological and societal accomplishments and, as if embracing Wittgenstein’s image of casting down the ladder, our society has turned away from all the old ‘superstitions’ and ‘ignorant ways’ of history. Instead, we attempt to build a new society based on vague egalitarian principles. Science, which in its essence is no more than an empirical process to advance a technological end, has come to supplant the roles of ethics, aesthetics, metaphysics and theology. Because these disciplines refuse to be restricted to the vocabulary of Science, they are charged with ‘meaninglessness’ rather than exposing the limitations of scientific methodology. And yet, we sense the gnawing feeling that the promise of Science to provide us all the answers is itself empty and lifeless.

“Trust ye not in princes, in the sons of men, in whom there is no salvation. His spirit shall go forth, and he shall return unto his earth. In that day all his thoughts shall perish.” (Psalm 145 LXX)

The Psalms have always been essential to Jewish and Christian worship and reflection. In these ancient hymns we discover not just truths about God but truths about ourselves. As we reflect on our current fears and the condition of our society and world, the Psalter uncovers a common thread in our humanity that remains stable no matter what changes we face socially or technologically. I discover that the fears and hopes I experience today are actually the same as those experienced by the shepherd tending his sheep four thousand years ago. The vanity, humility, pettiness, joy, repentance and anxiety of human existence –it is no different today than it has ever been.

Of course, the Psalms address our humanity in the context of adoration of God. This itself reveals that our humanity in its fullness is discovered only in relationship with God. In the fifth century, Blessed Augustine wrote of this relationship: “Thou hast formed us for Thyself, and our hearts are restless till they find rest in Thee.” (Confessions I.1) Our worship of God, our experience of Divine Love, a Love that is unearned, generous and life-giving, awakens within us a true understanding of who we are. The shackles of position, family, class, race, gender, and circumstance melt away in the integration of our personhood. We discover that we have infinite worth because we are loved by God; that we possess a dignity that cannot be lessened by loss of social standing or economic crash. This dignity gives us new eyes to see those around us in a new spirit. It is not what one possesses that makes one worthy, it is who one is. And we, transfigured by the love of God that we experience, cannot fail to see others as also beloved of God and therefore also possessing infinite dignity.

Yes, there are many reasons to fear in today’s world, yet there is also hope. That hope is in God and in worship. In the Byzantine Christian Tradition, changeless worship comforts and enlightens while allowing participants to turn aside from the false-self imposed by society and live in the true personhood of Divine Grace. Ancient rituals become vehicles of self-realization and transcendence. Hymns whose melodies are from another time speak to the heart in a language contemporary music cannot match.

Indeed, the worshiper not only finds a center in his/her own life, but also a link to the thread of continuity that unites all humanity throughout history. Unlimited potential is unleashed in a fountain of love and solidarity with others that refuses to be stifled by ‘modern’ definitions. Eastern Christians come to truly experience Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today and forever, and in that encounter discover themselves. It is in that experience and discovery that doubt is transformed into hope fear is resolved into peace.

As we look to the future with all its uncertainties and anxieties, we need not fear. The same God who walked with the shepherd boy four thousand years ago is here for us today. Spend some time with him today and allow yourself to be amazed that in meeting him you will also discover yourself.

What is Christianity? Can sin be private?

Christianity is imitating the Divine Nature.

Letter to Arrmonios, St Gregory of Nyssa

Sin is committed first of all in the secret depths of the human spirit but its consequences involve the individual as a whole. A sin will reflect on a man's psychological and physical condition, his outward appearance, on his personal destiny. Sin will, inevitably, pass beyond the boundaries of the sinner's individual life, to burden all humanity and thus affect the fate of the whole world. The sin of our forefather Adam was not the only sin of cosmic significance. Every sin, manifest or secret, committed by each one of us affects the rest of the universe.

Elder Sophrony in Saint Silouan the Athonite

regret

Righteous is the judge, and righteous is the judgement of truth -- then shall every man's deeds be weighed and rewarded according to his merits. In that day, those who worked iniquity will be tormented by regret, and those who labored virtuously will partake of joy in that land... O Lord, grant that I who am inspired by Thy mercy may be freed from the snares of the world so that I might safely enter the harbor of life.

A Spiritual Psalter, p. 131, Ephraim the Syrian

Overcoming the Abortuary Volunteers

About three or four times a year, I am asked to lead prayers at the local abortuary. We stand on one side of the ditch by the road and offer prayers, and on the other side, the volunteers stare at us as though at any minute we might storm the grounds and pull the expectant mothers away kicking and screaming. Usually, I offer a few words to the pro-lifers between rosaries, hymns and Byzantine Prayers of Mercy for the souls of the children killed inside (with which I always conclude our prayers).

Over time, I have come to really look forward to these occasions for the "little" miracles that occur. For example, there used to be an off-duty policeman who wandered back and forth. On several occasions I spoke with him and he eventually decided that this was a moonlighting job he did not need. But more importantly, I have witnessed women who changed their minds, persuaded by the prayers, or perhaps a moment of clarity about what they had come to have happen. These times are joyous and also fascinating as the clinic volunteers, so ostensibly devoted to the woman’s right to choose, looked positively miserable that the mother would carry her child to term.

Last year, we had an interesting season at the abortuary as we joined in a forty-day vigil to end abortion. I say it was interesting because when I came for my turn leading the prayers I was frankly amazed at how the vigil had affected the pro-death volunteers. Apparently, having gotten used to our third Saturday practice, the fact that prayers were being said twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, for a whole forty day period quite unnerved them. They attempted to drown out our prayers with loud Rock music - which led to repeated visit by the local constabulary who wagged the finger and told them to turn it down. (As a note, we do not use megaphones or amplifiers; just voices in prayer, never strident or overly loud.)

We did have one officer attempt to tell us that we were not allowed to speak to the women on their way in if they parked across the street. After a brief discussion about freedom of speech and freedom of assembly, the officer decided that he'd allow this conduct as long as the women going in did not protest. No problem. He was a nice guy; he just didn’t bank on someone schooled in the ways of protest a la the 1960’s and beyond. (“Know your rights; respect the law you’re working to change; and know you’re right!”)

The next time I came, the powers that abort had set up an orange plastic mesh fence - fairly tatty-looking, actually. The volunteers attempted to show what they must have considered a more “professional” manner. They worked in pairs and showed almost military precision. On that occasion, I started out speaking about the right of the woman to make decisions for her own body. Of course, this got the attention of the volunteers, who on that day had a small group of women from the local college out to join the fun. They listened attentively as I noted agreement that no one had a right to tell a woman what to do with her body. When I then noted that what is conceived in the womb, the fetus, is not her body but another human being whose rights are being denied they seemed stunned at the thought.

Today was most interesting as it was so telling about how things stand. When I arrived our people were at their usual positions. The volunteers, however, had brought children’s musical instruments! Toy accordions, little hand bells, jingle bells, even a little triangle bell. As I began my opening talk, the accordion and other instruments began a cacophonous racket. I also noticed that they now also carried signs, one of which warned patrons of the abortuary not to open the window and take a pamphlet from a protestor.

Needless to say, we carried on, although I must admit the lullaby was slightly distracting. While we prayed and sang, several police cars came by – why, I don’t know, but it added to the almost circus-like atmosphere. The accordion “player” attempted a few slogans that seemed trite and borne out of frustration at our presence. At one point he broke into the worst “rendition” of “This Land is Your Land” imaginable. It almost drifted into “Winter Wonderland” – no, I’m not kidding. The fact that children were being killed, literally ripped apart, inside probably didn’t occur to him.

On reflection, several things came to mind about the clinic's volunteers/ "deathscorts".

Firstly, the volunteers seem to fear that they are losing the battle. The use of children’s toy musical instruments would be silly if it were not such a pathetic display.

Secondly, while they no doubt view themselves as proponents of equal rights for women they are decidedly anti-democratic. The use of the musical instruments indicates that they do not want the prayers to be heard, and the signs warning patrons against reading our ‘subversive’ materials also reflect this.

Thirdly, assuming that the volunteers were the ones who called the police, it would seem likely that they desire some sort of confrontation to develop, perhaps in the hope of getting one or more of the pro-life protestors arrested or else raising our “fear level”. In the case of these volunteers, the possibility for violence is not so farfetched. One of the larger middle-aged men, who is almost always present, has been known to grab placards and rip them up.

Fourthly, rather than intimidate us, the volunteers have actually invigorated us. After being subjected to “This Land is Your Land” we all broke into “We Shall Overcome”.

And in this regard, I consider “We Shall Overcome” entirely appropriate. As protestors fought for equal rights for black in the 1960’s, our cause is of the same cloth. It is innocent children who are being denied equal protection, who are being treated as slaves, property to be disposed of, who are deserving of our assistance in their cause.

May our Lord convict us all to end this barbaric practice soon

Preparing for Lent - Triodion

The following is an expansion on an article submitted to a local newspaper.

PREPARING FOR LENT – AN EASTERN CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE

For Western Christians, Lent is a time of ‘giving up’. It has become an exercise in self-denial more than a preparation for Easter. As such, Ash Wednesday has become almost symbolic of the beginning of a “party’s over” somber time. This is somewhat fostered by the “party till you drop” mood of Mardi Gras. Indeed, for many “Fat Tuesday” has become a time to eat, drink, dance, sing, drink, and engage in any and every conceivable excess. (Oh, and did I say, “drink”?) This is not what the Church intends, but it is how many have come to see it.

For the Byzantine Churches, those Churches of the East, Lent is seen differently. In fact, Lent, or the “Great Fast”, is preceded by a period often called Triodion that heralds the Fast from a very different stand point. Eastern Christians begin the path to Calvary four weeks before the beginning of Lent with a Sunday known as the Pharisee and the Publican (this year, celebrated January 13th). This parable of Jesus (Luke 18:10-14) emphasizes the need for humility and recognition of God’s generous grace in loving the sinner. Rather than counting our accomplishments and virtues, we are bidden to recognize the love of God that forgives, heals and strengthens us. It inaugurates a week of simple living, with no fasting or abstinences. True faith is not about boasting but mercy.

Next comes a Sunday called the Prodigal Son (celebrated next week on January 20th) from Luke 16:11-32. Our reflection on humility leads us to recognize our need for God who Himself is ready and waiting to accept our repentance with joy and compassion. At the same time, we are warned not to judge those who may have much to repent and to not let our own self-righteousness become a barrier that separates us from our brothers and sisters. True humility and repentance open our eyes to see the solidarity of all people as children of God, who loves, cares for and welcomes each and all.

The following Sunday is devoted to the Last Judgment from Matthew 25:31-46. Here we are warned that the hands of God at work in the world are our own and how we treat others reflects the true reality and nature of our faith. God will not accept pious words that are betrayed by callous regard for those who suffer need and want. One might say that like Marley in A Christmas Carol we must recognize that “mankind is my business” and if we truly desire to live as God’s people the desire to help and comfort others should honestly and generously lead us to action. We note that these actions may be the same as those of the Pharisee, but originating in genuine and self-sacrificing love, not in the vainglory charity of praise and recognition. Tradition calls for abstinence from all meat products after this day, as we like lambs seek to live a more caring and innocent life.

Finally, the Sunday of Forgiveness, with the Gospel from Matthew 6:14-21, reminds us that we cannot progress spiritually if we hold grudges or are willing to live in the animosity our actions cause others. We must be pro-active to seek reconciliation, not only with God, but with our neighbors, our brothers and sisters, even our enemies. In Byzantine and Orthodox Churches, the Sunday of Forgiveness culminates in a forgiveness ring in which we seek and proclaim mutual forgiveness between ourselves and every member of the community.

The day after Forgiveness Sunday is called Clean Monday and is the traditional first day of Lent for Eastern Christians. From Clean Monday Tradition calls for abstinence from all dairy products. We are called to eat simple foods and so share table with the poorest of the world’s poor. Prince and pauper experience solidarity in the food of the poor: grains, vegetables, and fruit. Thus, we begin Lent on equal footing with every other human being who stands before God in need of mercy and salvation. Illusions of grandeur and false pride have no place in our Lenten journey.

This four week period prepares Eastern Christians for a Lenten observance with a deep spiritual focus. We meditate on the mercy of God and our need to move beyond ourselves with our limited and narrow views of freedom. Instead, we are offered to reflect on a God who is Love, who will literally shed his blood and offer his body for our sakes. Byzantine Lent is not about giving up, but about discovering. It is a journey that holds before us the Cross of Christ and his glorious Resurrection.

We invite all people to join us this year and make Lent a time of personal and spiritual growth. We encourage you to not wait; start today, and make your Lenten journey truly fruitful. God love you!

Atheists Help Build Belief

It's the Third Day of Christmas, and Canada's Michael Coren has written a nice observation on how his faith has been strengthened ... by radical atheism. A few excerpts follow to whet your whistle.

I suppose it's the greatest joke of all. Deliciously ironic as well. My Christian faith has been profoundly encouraged by those most eager to smother it. Put simply, I was helped along the road from indifference to belief by the banality of atheism. Since reaching the age of reason, I've had the usual old regulars thrown at me. Why do bad things happen to good people? Why doesn't He make Himself more obvious? Why is evil committed in the name of religion? Throw in the Inquisition, the Crusades and some lies about Papal culpability during the Holocaust and you have the standard God-hating manifesto.

The more I dealt with all this, the more I realized that the very belief being attacked was absolutely and abundantly true. More than this, the reason it was under attack in the first place was precisely because it was true.

...

What became apparent to me was that the opposition to faith was as unappealing and bland as faith was appealing and thrilling. I read, prayed and thought myself into faith more than 20 years ago. It was gradual but inevitable. Miracles occurred but they need not have. I do not need a miracle to remind me that water quenches my thirst. Christ was there in my life, with me and in me and around me. Atheists showed me the way. God bless the little devils.

For the whole article, go here.

Christmas Day in the Morning

I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day;
I saw three ships come sailing in
On Christmas Day in the morning.

A recent article over at First Things addressed the fact that the Virgin Mary plays little or no part in the vast majority of music associated with Christmas. It struck me that this mirrors the current secularist American "spirit" in which Christmas has become little more than a source of economic enhancement for the merchants. It has come to the point that political correctness, the product of materialistic relativism, has made it socially unacceptable to even wish someone "Merry Christmas".

Initially, Christmas was commercialized to sell seasonal products; later, the religious focus became blurred by the season (now understood as lasting from Thanksgiving to Christmas itself) as a time to indulge and attend drunken parties; and finally, in today's time the religious element itself is threatened with dissolution leaving the only focus on buying, giving, and indulging to the point of excess. Given this progression, it isn't surprising that many "Christmas songs" are devoid of any spiritual element, or else the spiritual element is largely forgotten. (How many of us know more of the carol that opens this posting than the the above printed first verse?)

Yet the charade continues. I have often railed against the secular "Christmas Season" that begins with holiday sales and ends around noon on 25 December. My famous example is that "Winter Wonderland" really has nothing to do with Christmas but is practically never heard after the twenty-fifth. Yet all of these songs and carols have become inextricably linked with Christmas in some fashion and to hear one is to think of that holiday.

Of the many Christmas Season songs played on the Radio and in the shops these days, the one that I always notice is John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War is Over)”. It has everything a Christmas song should have; there are jingle bells, children singing, lush strings, and a rhythm fit for a winter sleigh ride. Although the song was written as a then-timely anti-war song protesting the American involvement in Vietnam; its melody and arrangement gave it the timeless quality to make it a classic.

Yet, Lennon’s voice, and the lyrics of the song, betrays a sadness that is quite startling. The opening words speak to a sadness that counterpoises the buoyant spirits of the arrangement.

So this is Xmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun

Lennon, of course, wanted the listener to consider that, despite the holiday, war was more than “unfinished business”, and no matter how joyful our celebrations might be we needed to remember that sadness and pain, suffering and fear, do not take holidays. Lennon hoped that by reminding the listener of the reality that the world is filled with hate and corruption might contri bute in some way to ending the war, and perhaps all wars.

However, although Lennon might sing that war can be simply stopped "if you want it", one can't help recognizing an ironic note of despair in the song, a despair that seems to see the desired goal as ultimately hopeless. (This attitude could be said to characterize much of Lennon's later years as various recollections and much of his writing reveal a man of decided intellect scarred by doubt and fear of worthlessness.)

In a way, Lennon’s sentiments in "Happy Xmas" can be seen as representative of the general melancholy many experience during “the holiday season”. Given the early starting date of the Christmas displays and ads for every conceivable product, the day itself almost can’t help seeming to be a letdown. What’s more, with all the saccharine holiday music, with emphases on mindless happiness and whimsical jollity, is it any wonder Christmas becomes a source of stress, tension and depression for many people?

A recent local production I attended included a duet sung by two young performers in which one child sang of the sadness of a life in which Santa never visited her house while the other sang of the joys of Christmas as most American children experience it. The song was from a movie, I am told, and the sad girl’s part of the song was about being poor. In an otherwise joyful and entertaining program, this number achieved the effect of giving everyone a few moments to ponder the disparity between the haves and the have nots.

The song starkly laid bare the notion that to many people Christmas is about material possessions. How could there be a happy Christmas without toys and baubles and new clothes and game players and Cd's and Ipods and new books and DVDs and all the other things we find ourselves lusting for after Thanksgiving? It is this view that mostly feeds people's pity to contribute to charities more during the "holiday season". "Toys for Tots" and other campaigns have noble motives but also feed into this "Christmas is about getting" motif.

Merchants are, as noted above, promoters of the Christmas as Capitalist Holiday mindset. From socks to jewelry, we are reminded that to really love someone we must buy that one gift that will promote instant joy and in return let them know what great people we are.

However, what the merchants, the above referenced duet, Mr Lennon’s song and too many people miss is that Christmas is not about buying, giving and receiving as it has come to be understood in today’s society. To be sure, Christmas does have a giving and receiving element, but it’s not, to use the Grinch’s words, “something bought in a store”. For no matter how wonderful the gift is, no matter how expensive, unique or personal, in the end it ages and becomes just another possession.

In its simplist terms, Christmas celebrates something that cannot be bought or sold.

Christmas celebrates the birth of a Child.

The birth of a child is a time for celebration, the gift of new life, a time of joy. For mothers, the birth of a child is a particular time of happiness coming after months of pregnancy and the pains of labor. The birth of the Christ Child recognizes that joy, and the joy of all parents, while revealing God’s love in sharing with us that newness of life that is celebrated in every birth.

In the birth of Christ we discover the solidarity that God is willing to share His life with us. He comes as a babe completely dependant on his mother. The trust Christ had in the arms of the Virgin Mary bids us to trust in God. We are reminded that no matter how much suffering we endure, how much sorrow, and how much pain; we do not go through it alone. There is One who is there to share it with us and raise us up above it. As no mother would ignore the suffering of her child, so God will stand by us. The life that comes with a new birth continues and grows, and with it love finds an ever deeper and more mature place as well.

The birth of Christ brings us to understand that our lives have worth. My life is worth something. So is yours. It’s not about how much money we earn, or our social standing. It’s not about where we’re from, or the color of our skin. It’s not about what language we speak or whether we are women or men. There is a dignity we each share just by being born, just by existing.

So as Christmas morning gives way to Christmas afternoon and evening, let us look around the house at those with us, those who love us and put up with us. Let us take a moment to realize how much each of them means to us. And for those who can’t be with us, let us visit them or give them a call. And those who live alone? Why not invite them over? They, too, add to the completeness and beauty of our lives.

By sharing the moment of Christmas we can do more than share a holiday, we can share a love that is godly and eternal. In seeing those around us as truly valuable and worthy people we can overcome the “winter blues” because we suddenly discover that we also are valuable. In this way, our celebration of Christmas will not fade with the opening of the last present; it will flourish as a blessing for others and for ourselves that will continue to grow all year.